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Smart Ass Crosswalk Signal!

Everyone loves a smartass. In fact, people love sarcasm, which makes it a great outlet to get all of that pent up resentment out while slapping a smile on your face. Smartass quotes. If you have ever been offended by someone with nothing but a gaping mouth and a figurative puff of smoke as a response, you know how tragic a lack of a comeback can feel. Nasty ex sniffing around? Friend making bad life choices?

Men are like Blackberries. Rub one ball and everything moves.

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May I interest you in a sarcastic comment, instead? Want to know whether you should be kicking your lover to the curb? These smartass quotes about breakups are sure to help you out.

Casey, Dominic [Read: 11 profound relationship quotes everyone can relate to ]. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.

Smartass Quotes: 48 Smart and Sarcastic Lines that Kick Ass. By Waverly Smith. Share Tweet Pin It Some days were meant for playing nice, others for firing off smartass quotes to everyone who's bugging you. Here are 46 quotes to get you started. " Because there is a chance she did not find it funny. Smart Ass Jokes After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same question, "When you're lying in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?". Funny Test Answers from Smart Ass Kids: Borderline Genius 28 Creative Kids Winning on Tests, Even When They're Wrong Not every kid can be an Einstein, but they can be pure genius when it comes to being a smart ass.

You do you, Pikachu. Good luck figuring out which one. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

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Here are the best insulting smartass quotes we could find. Because sometimes, people just need to be told.

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I really thought you already knew. How to be witty and win anyone over ]. You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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Where did the lawyer set a precident defending his author client's rights? In the Book Case. What has a spine, but no bones?

Big Funny One Line Jokes Collection - The Best Really Funny One Liners Here is our collection of funny one line jokes - so much fun pressed into a single line, isn't life sweet? On this page you will find success jokes, funny women jokes, prison jokes, mind jokes, wise jokes, funny ass jokes, funny animal jokes and idiot jokes. Smart Ass Questions If bars aren't allowed to serve drunk people, then why is McDonald's still allowed to serve fat people? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil . Smart Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

A book, although some authors disagree. What is big and gray, and writes poems? What's the difference between an astronaut and a cosmonaut?

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Astronauts take it slow and easy, but cosmonauts are always rushin'. Why can't astronauts stay in a long-term relationship?

Because they always need their space. Why do astronauts always have the best opinions? Because they have the best perspective. What did the Sharpie pen ask the pencil?

Darth Vader Being a Jerk, HD Special Edition

Yeah, so what's your point? What did the sheet of paper say to the pencil?

Brainy Puns: Funny writer jokes, smart ass humor, bookish puns, coherent science jokes, nerdy humor and clever school puns literally do spell laughter. FunJokes has funny smart ass jokes, tasteless jokes, and stupid jokes. SMART ASS JOKES: SMART ASS ANSWERS according to Reader's Digest: Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. HUMOR. 19 Smart-Ass Insults To Destroy Your Worst Enemies & More Importantly, Your Best Friends. Rohit Bhattacharya. shares | views.

Write On! What did the pencil shapener say to the pencil? Stop going around in circles, and just get to the point! Point to Ponder: If Horrible and Horrific are the same thing, then why are Terrible and Terrific the complete opposite?

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Scientific Breakthrough Point to Ponder: Scientists have discovered a way to make dolphins invisible, but skeptics do not see the porpoise. What did scientists get when they crossed a chicken and a golden retriever? A fowl bitch. Which element is derived from a thunderous Norse god? Scientists believe that the Yellowstone super volcano is overdue for an eruption, and they're calling it Eruptile Dysfunction.

Smart ass joke

Can fat people go skinny-dipping? What do you call male ballerinas? Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop? Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

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Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? How can someone "draw a blank"? Whatever happened to preparations A through G? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath? How dead is the Dead Sea? If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?

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Is a hotdog a sandwich? How many weeks are there in a light year?

50 Smart Ass Quotes

How much milk is there in the Milky Way? If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do? If corn can't hear, why does it have an ear? How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?

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Is cereal a soup? Can you "get even" if your odd? A pack of gum says 10 calories per piece, is that amount for chewing it or for swallowing it? Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

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